Stan Lee Donates $1.2 Billion To #MeToo

Following the death of prolific cartoonist at the age of 95, the legend donated his entire estate worth $1.2 billion to the #MeToo Foundation. Continue reading “Stan Lee Donates $1.2 Billion To #MeToo”

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Hollywood Only Down To 999,997 Worst Kept Secrets

After Harvey Weinstein’s obvious “secret” came out, Hollywood publicists scramble to keep the other 999,997 terrible “secrets” out of non-Hollywood circles.

“The only point to be an agent is to fuck hot chicks.” – Hollywood agent “Or young boys, whatever you’re into.”

“For us ugly, ugly producers, it’s just better to pay for sex through an escort service, that way no one gets hurt. We get sex and they get paid in cash or bitcoin.” – Hollywood producer

Trump Made Up Story About Barron’s Reaction To Kathy Griffin Photo

A recent photoshoot with Kathy Griffin was met with harsh criticism for holding a bloody Trump head with a stern look on her face. It turns out, Trump made-up the story as Barron said, “I thought it was Ronald McDonald.”

Steve Bannon, Trump’s top political adviser, and former Breitbart editor, then wrote a story about how Barron thought the picture was real and how to distribute the propaganda.

Barron was offended that people questioned his intelligence. “I’m not dumb, I’m a New Yorker,” said Barron. “I’ve seen much, much worse things on the internet. I thought it was Ronald McDonald, which I didn’t like because I like chicken nuggets.”

The Trump administration tried to twist the situation to help Donald Trump politically, and it has worked. It hasn’t worked on Barron, “I’m already as smart as my father.”

Trump: “Kathy Griffin Is Big Meanie, A Nasty Big Meanie, Very Bigley” 

“It’s very, very mean of her. No president has ever been treated so badly,” said Trump. “Why are comedians doing political comedy. They didn’t do satire or political comedy until I won an election they lost badly.”

57 million people voted for Democrat Hillary Clinton and 54 million people voted for Republican Donald Trump. Hillary won over 3 million more votes. Trump won the electoral college by roughly 75,000 votes across 5 counties in 3 different states.

Sean Spicer threw a tantrum at the media after the President refused to hold a single press conference during his recent 11-day foreign trip, the first to refuse the media request since 1913, mostly because of the First World War, after a comedian did a photo shoot. How does a 71-year-old man become offended by a photo shoot? Nobody knows but the supposed billionaire seems to be skin free.

Griffin was fired from the annual New Year’s Eve CNN program.

Sean Hannity Out At Fox News After Sexual Harassment Claims Revealed

The dominos continue to fall at Fox News with the firing of news pundit Sean Hannity after dozens of sexual harassment complaints came to light from both women and men. The company was quick to act and didn’t hesitate after dealing with disgraced pundit Bill O’Reilly and Roger Ailes.

Hannity responded to the male allegation as “two men playing in the locker, naked, and wiping each other with towels. All heterosexual middle-aged men do this. I do it in my male exclusive gym all the time.”

Hannity will walk away with $7.8 million.

Tucker Carlson took over Bill O’Reilly time slot and Waters World is rumored to fill in Hannity.

Trump Hires Bill O’Reilly As White House Adviser

“It is terrible what the media and these women did to this great American patriot. Disgusting,” said Trump. “It total reverse racism, I mean sexism. That’s what it is and every voter knows that.” Continue reading “Trump Hires Bill O’Reilly As White House Adviser”

The Problem Isn’t Fake News. It’s Idiots With the Internet.

That’s all it takes to swing an election.

Before we continue, it is very possible Donald Trump shat his pants during a golf game. And he really did like that cake. This shit actually happened.

Now picture, please, a monkey with a wrench.

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That bone will yield as much useful information as your average Google browse.

That’s all it takes to swing an election. This guy even got a law on the floor of the Colorado house.

In 2000, 14% of seniors of seniors (those 65 or older) used the internet. By 2012, the start of Barack Obama’s last term, that number had grown to 58%.

For Barack Obama, a president elected on the backs of the young voters, the internet was to his campaign what oxygen is to an astronaut: everything.

By the time Trump left his leather chair at The Apprentice, the number of senior voters with internet access had tripled: enough to swing an election.

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“Half of them don’t know what what the internet is.”

That caption is an actual quote, by the way. It was one local’s response to an attempt at state-sponsored internet in Florida. Something Estonia has had for years. An article confirmed by simply browsing multiple sources and arriving at the Guardian.

For the majority of voters, information gathering had changed in 2012. Ted Koppel was no longer your trusted voice; you had a machine with a screen and wifi access, and with that machine came a certain kind of magic; a blank line filled by a few keystrokes, and suddenly your field of view was full of information normally available only after a six-hour visit to the local library and a mind-numbing attempt at rational thought.

Suddenly, information came from a few dozen teenagers in Macedonia.

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No, really. This place is the reason you might lose your healthcare in the next three years.

It’s understandable. Voters 65 and over preferred Trump by an 8% margin. An elderly man accustomed to pushing two buttons on his remote would embrace his internet access with the same discretion: open Google, type in his interests, and see what the world has to say. Suddenly, a headline like FBI Agent Suspected in Hillary Email Leaks Found Dead in Apparent Murder-Suicide seems plausible.

75% of American’s buy this shit.

Tell an uneducated retiree the world is crumbling, and that all he needs to do to save it is hit the polling booth for the first time in decades, and for the first time in decades, vote he will.

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He’ll save us from a world in which Dora The Explorer is our biggest problem.

75% of American’s think the Chicago Cub’s World Series ring was stolen. 75% of American’s think Donald Trump allowed a picture of his shit-soaked pants to circulate the internet without response.

75% of Americans are idiots.

75% of Americans are making a Macedonian teen’s dreams come true.

And all the while, the Irish are eating babies.

McDonald’s Brings Back Szechwan Sauce After Rick and Morty Segment

The long-awaited cartoon show Rick and Marty played on a loop during April Fools Day. In the episode, Rick, in a memory from 1998, goes through a McDonald’s drive-thru and ordered chicken nuggets with “as much szechuan sauce you can possibly give me.” Continue reading “McDonald’s Brings Back Szechwan Sauce After Rick and Morty Segment”

An English YouTuber & Worms Armageddon Predicted Trump’s Rise Months Before the Experts (Video)

If only we’d paid attention.

Hilarious Let’s Play YouTuber Many A True Nerd unleashed a barrel of worms with bazooka’s in an AI match and successfully called the US Election as far back as March, 2016. If only we’d paid attention.

BBC’s “Sherlock” Announces Release Date (Video)

On January 1st, 2017, Sherlock Holmes will return.

On January 1st, 2017, Sherlock will return to the BBC. This  series of trailers show a strong lineup of stars, from Colin Ferrell –

– to Tom Hiddleston and Toby Jones.

No word yet on whether Sherlock’s arch-rival, Moriarty, will return as this year’s great nemesis or merely in a series of haunting flashbacks.

Family Guy Saw the Clinton-Trump Fiasco Coming Fifteen Years Ago (Video)

You can’t help but see the similarities.

Just three weeks after The Simpson’s famed “Bart to the Future” episode, Family Guy released “Running Mates.” In it, Peter Griffin decides to run against his extremely qualified wife, Lois, for School Board President, and for no other reason than he was told he couldn’t win.

Of course, he finds himself elected.

In the clip below, Lois berates the idea of voting for someone so unqualified. You can’t help but see the similarities.

Check the full episode on Hulu.