Hollywood Only Down To 999,997 Worst Kept Secrets

After Harvey Weinstein’s obvious “secret” came out, Hollywood publicists scramble to keep the other 999,997 terrible “secrets” out of non-Hollywood circles.

“The only point to be an agent is to fuck hot chicks.” – Hollywood agent “Or young boys, whatever you’re into.”

“For us ugly, ugly producers, it’s just better to pay for sex through an escort service, that way no one gets hurt. We get sex and they get paid in cash or bitcoin.” – Hollywood producer

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Dodgers Trade Yasiel Puig To Miami Marlins For 57 Water Coolers

The Los Angeles Dodgers have traded 25-year-old outfielder Yasiel Puig to the Miami Marlins for 57 water coolers. The struggling slugger needed a “change of environment,” said manager Dave Roberts. No team was willing to trade players for the often hurt Cuban player with his only good year being his rookie campaign. Miami offered to pick up the rest of his $34 million contract in exchange for the water coolers. Continue reading “Dodgers Trade Yasiel Puig To Miami Marlins For 57 Water Coolers”

Los Angeles: Let The Hate Begin- Man Stabbed Outside Simi Valley Mosque

A local father was stabbed in an alleged hate crime outside his Simi Valley mosque.

A local father was stabbed in an alleged hate crime outside his Simi Valley mosque.

Welcome to Trumpland. It’s all downhill from here…

Relax, Angelenos. You’re City-Sized Transit System is Finally Coming (Video)

Los Angeles will finally be receiving a transit system to rival New York City.

The votes are tallied, and Los Angeles will finally be receiving a transit system to rival New York City. LA Mag outlines the plan in the video below.