That’s how Trump fires people. He hands them a sock and shows them the door.
Less than an hour after finishing his awkward Congressional testimony, Attorney General discovered the size five foot sock suspended from his office door.
“It took a couple hours to figure out what was happening,” said one aide. “Looking at the size of the sock, every one assumed Melania must have left it as a happy birthday gift.
“She’s had trouble finding her husbands office,” the aide clarified.
It wasn’t long before the signal became clear; Session’s efforts, declared Trump, were no longer required.
“That’s how Trump does it,” said one long-time assistance. “He fires people the way his father fired the maid. Hands them an article of clothing and expects them to find the door.”
Confusion filled the office when an extra-large pair of Fruit of the Loom briefs were found slung over Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s office chair. Upon inspection, it was determined that the size did not accord with Trump’s own undergarments. Mueller has since been allowed to keep his job until adequate support for his brass balls can be found.
Trump keeps asking, “How are the alien tacos? I know you know where they cook. Taco Bell? Taco Bell is tremendous.”
And the leaks keep coming.
A memo between NASA Administrator Robert Lightfoot, Jr. and lead researcher at the SETI Institute Seth Shostack (the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) has been recovered.
In it, Lightfoot, Jr. relates how ICE agents continually parade about asking how “things are going.” Several requests have been issued for Lisa Nowak’s diaper.
Astronaut Lisa Nowak was arrested in 2007 on charges of attempted kidnapping after through several states wearing an adult diaper.
“I can hear them muttering about how that’s ‘inhuman bullshit,’ and then somebody snickers at the bullshit line. They want DNA tests. They don’t think she’s human, much less American. I keep telling them to talk to the FBI if they want that kind of evidence.
“When I tell them to talk to the FBI, they all get nervous.”
Shostack’s response was included in the leaked memo.
“I know what you mean. It’s all about how Trump is convinced we’ve made contact with extraterrestrials. He keeps sending us emails about “how are the alien tacos? I know you know where they cook. Taco Bell? It’s Taco Bell. Taco Bell is tremendous. Steve is going to come down and take a look.
“And now the ICE guys want to know where we plan on meeting them. They’ve got a whole bulletin board set up down here on extreme vetting for different planets.
“I guess Mars gets a pass. One of the immigration agents said it was red enough.”
For the majority of voters, information gathering had changed in 2012. Ted Koppel was no longer your trusted voice; you had a machine with a screen and wifi access, and with that machine came a certain kind of magic; a blank line filled by a few keystrokes, and suddenly your field of view was full of information normally available only after a six-hour visit to the local library and a mind-numbing attempt at rational thought.
Suddenly, information came from a few dozen teenagers in Macedonia.
Florida – President Trump had a little accident on the golf course today, and no, and wasn’t politically. After a large brunch of eggs, bacon, ham, pheasant, roast beef, elk, and a variety of sausage, Trump had a case of diarrhea while playing the 5th hole of his back nine.
Hilarious Let’s Play YouTuber Many A True Nerd unleashed a barrel of worms with bazooka’s in an AI match and successfully called the US Election as far back as March, 2016. If only we’d paid attention.
This is hardly the strangest thing that’s happened to Trump when engaged with a graphic designer.
Time Magazine claims the M-Shaped horns over 2016’s Person of the Year, Donald Trump, are entirely coincidental. But then there is this…
Of course, this is a recurring theme. But that’s no reason not to embrace the devilish meme, and this is hardly the strangest thing that’s happened to Trump when he’s been engaged with a graphic designer:
Says Wired, “If you thought Hey! That looks kind of NSFW! you’re not alone. ‘Yeah, that’s weird,’ says graphic designer Armin Vit, who runs the logo criticism blog Brand New. ‘I mean it’s not—it’s not subtle at all. It’s a ‘T’ penetrating a ‘P.’ There’s no way around it. And we’re human. We’re inclined to find humor in things. So we see a sex act.'”
Just three weeks after The Simpson’s famed “Bart to the Future” episode, Family Guy released “Running Mates.” In it, Peter Griffin decides to run against his extremely qualified wife, Lois, for School Board President, and for no other reason than he was told he couldn’t win.
Of course, he finds himself elected.
In the clip below, Lois berates the idea of voting for someone so unqualified. You can’t help but see the similarities.