Yale Students Protest Over Offensive ‘Valentine Day’ Roses

Yale students are protesting over flowers. Yes, flowers. Some students found the roses offensive because they were placed in the Student Union without the consent of the student body.

Tiffany Flanders, sophomore, told the Yale Gazette, “I’m totally offended they would just put flowers in plain sight for everyone to see and smell. Do they not care about our feelings? Not everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

“This is part of a pattern of disrespect from the school to the students. The Student Union is supposed to be a safe place, not a place where the school can come in and place flowers wherever they please. It’s our place but now I’m afraid to go there because of the roses.

“One of my friends has a very mild sensitivity to white roses and I had to witness her sneeze four times in a row. It was terrifying. Now she has to sit two chairs away so she won’t sneeze. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen happen to anyone.”  

A variety of flower bouquets were placed around the student union. There were plenty of roses for Valentine’s Day. There was also an assortment of spring bouquets with anemones, carnations, and daffodils.

“They put roses in all the vases. How dare they!” said the angry Flanders. “How do they know if everyone on campus is comfortable with roses? They just assumed it’s okay to put roses wherever they damn well pleased because it was Valentine’s Day. We weren’t notified and certainly didn’t get to vote on whether roses would be placed in the student union. They didn’t even bother to ask us our opinion on roses. It’s so disrespectful.”
Yale Club For Wussies

Yale University school administrators were shocked by the student’s outrage over the placement of roses in the student center to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Administrator Tom Bundy told the Gazette, “They are only flowers. We thought it would be nice to lighten up the room with fresh flowers during the cold winter and for Valentine’s Day. We do this every year but never had students protested over it.

“In my twenty-five years of education, never in my wildest dreams would I think students would protest over flowers simply because we didn’t ask them for permission. I’m speechless.  

“I’m getting hate mail, death threats, and other unsavory threats unless we remove the flowers.”

The flowers were to be removed Tuesday anyway because of their shelf life, so they are continuing that plan.

“I can’t believe I need to apologize for this,” said Bundy. “I’m sorry for providing free roses. It just sounds funny but sure isn’t a joke.”

Yale got in trouble year’s this year for not properly censoring Halloween costumes.

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