Dodgers Trade Yasiel Puig To Miami Marlins For 57 Water Coolers

The Los Angeles Dodgers have traded 25-year-old outfielder Yasiel Puig to the Miami Marlins for 57 water coolers. The struggling slugger needed a “change of environment,” said manager Dave Roberts. No team was willing to trade players for the often hurt Cuban player with his only good year being his rookie campaign. Miami offered to pick up the rest of his $34 million contract in exchange for the water coolers.

Puig will also be managed by former Dodgers manager Don Mattingly who is the Marlins current bench zcar.

Dodgers President Andrew Friedman had been looking to trade Puig but offers were nonexistent. “We tried and this was the best deal we could find. I hate to say he was only worth 30 water coolers but that’s the reality of the situation.

“It will help replace the seven he broke during the past season and we got a net gain of twenty-eight water coolers.”

The once highly touted Cuban star has fallen from grace after multiple injuries and several arrests. A new story just leaked about Puig getting into a fight with bouncers at a Miami nightclub, so moving to Miami permanently will be a better fit for the right-hand batter. Scouts say he’s good but can’t hit the fastball or breaking ball.

Mattingly declined to comment.