Chris Christie ‘Gasses’ Himself

A 30-foot radius felt the gas attack from Chris Christie. Victims were sent to the hospital after vomiting and eye bleeding began just seconds after the exposure to the gas.

The walking man of mass destruction said he ate two cheese steaks prior to the incident. “They were great steaks,” said Christie. “Extra cheese and onions is the way to do it.”

Christie passed out from his own fart and woke up when the paramedics arrived. Paramedic, Tom Watts said, “It was only a grade 3 Christie, so that’s not too bad. Nothing like the grade 1 attack of ‘09’.”