Los Angeles Tap Water Contains 18% Xanax and 7% OxyCodone

In new Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) findings, they determined that average Los Angeles tap water contains 18% Xanax and 7% oxycodone.

Xanax, the anxiety medication, and oxycodone, the pain relief pill, were found in the highest rates around Brentwood, West Hollywood, and Beverly Hills.

We spoke to a scientist to help explain this phenomenon. Eric Bundy of Hollywood Hospital said, “People dispose of these medications down the drain and since e are in a drought, much of our water is recycled and cleaned. However, many of these chemicals remain in the water after the filtration process.”

Angelinos were not shocked by the findings but did elaborate on the EPA’s findings. Local LA resident Paul White told the LA Times, “The 80s were more fun when the tap water was mostly speed. It was all uppers all the time, it was great. Now it’s all downers and it’s not as much fun in my opinion.”

Others enjoyed the water. “I’m glad to drink eight glasses a day. I don’t know who’s dumping their drugs down the drain but keep up the great work,” said Nathaniel Roberts.

To help explain who and why the drugs get flushed down the toilet, our scientist said, “Well, we see people dump their stash before they go to rehab. Parents might also finds’ their kids drugs and keep or dump them. Drunk housewives tend to accidently drop stuff in the toilet, so there’s that.